Teaching Honesty

Note from Sherri: The following article was published in the Eastern Arizona Courier and Graham County Guardian newspapers Wednesday, February 7, 1978 in a column entitled Good Afternoon! By Jacque Felshaw. There are a couple of errors in her commentary at the end of the article—Vernon served in the Mt. Graham Stake Presidency and served on the State Junior College Board.

You know, growing up can be pretty tough on a kid. Boy or girl, it’s a time of searching for values, a quest for personal standards, a time of shifting and sorting. Parents have a powerful influence in this search. The story from the life of Wayne McGrath, president of Eastern Arizona College and Bishop of the Thatcher 1st LDS Ward, shows how one alert parent took what some might term a “no big deal” incident and taught a lesson to be remembered throughout life by his young son. Here is the story as told by President McGrath:

When I was about twelve, a high school basketball tournament was held in my home town. When the big day came, one of my friends and I went early to the first session. We were surprised to discover that we had arrived before any of the teams and in fact, before the ticket takers, custodians or anyone else. While anxiously awaiting the moment when we could buy our tickets and enter, we circled the gym, routinely testing each door we passed. You can well imagine our disbelief when a side door opened to a gentle pull on the knob. Taking advantage of this unexpected event we quietly slipped inside.

What a time! We cheered with equal gusto both winners and losers, except for the big game when our own home town team took its turn on the floor. That night as I excitedly related the day’s events, I inadvertently let slip the story of the unlocked side door.

My dad immediately responded.  ’You mean you went in without paying?’

’Yes,’ I said, ‘Isn’t that great!’

’No,’ he replied, ‘That’s dishonest,’ and with that he promptly produced the money to cover my ticket and firmly announced, ‘Go back to the school and give this to Mr. Elledge. Tell him what you did and that you won’t do it again!’ You should have heard my pleading.

’Now?’ I said, ‘In the dark? But he’ll be gone. No one will be there. Can’t I do it tomorrow? What’s wrong with what I did? I didn’t cheat. Someone else left the door open!’

’No,’ Dad said quietly but firmly to each of my excuses. ‘You know what you have to do, now go and do it.’ So off I went, down the dark streets, a mile and a half to school.

When I arrived at the gymnasium, much to my disappointment, the office light still glowed. I knocked on the window and the principal looked up from counting tickets. My heart was in my throat as I related the story. He fixed me with a stern eye, cocked his head to one side and said, ’Did your Dad send you back?’

’Yes sir,’ I replied.

’That’s what I thought! Give me the money and promise that you won’t do it again.’ Eager to promise anything, just to get out of the situation, I nodded, handed him my money, turned and stumbled into the dark. I was relieved that nothing more was said by the principal.

Years later, I realized that this was a teaching moment my father had recognized and used to dramatically reinforce the principle of honesty. My dad was a big man physically—6’2” and 235 pounds. But his physical size was not the biggest thing about him. He was a big man in his commitment to personal honesty and integrity. I’m grateful that he loved me enough to help me learn their meaning.

Note: This story was written by President McGrath as an entry in the 1977 National Family Week Essay Contest sponsored by the Thatcher Stake LDS Public Communications Committee. Not only was an entry received from him, but also from each of his four sons. The McGraths (including wife and mother, Barbara) wrote their stories as a special Family Home Evening project. However, Mrs. McGrath had to go out of town and did not get her entry submitted. Wayne is the son of the late J. Vernon McGrath, who served for many years in the Safford LDS Stake Presidency. He and his wife, Vessa (Hanchett) were well known in their insurance business in Duncan and for their civic contributions. Mr. McGrath represented Greenlee County on the State College Board for many years. Mrs. McGrath still lives in Duncan.